It’s that time of the week! Time to head to the newsstand and pick up a magazine and take a look at it.
So here we go!
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Schnucks Grocery Store
If you’re a regular reader of this blog, you know my go to grocery store is Schnucks on University. I have to get something for dinner and for dessert we’ll be sampling a sweet magazine from their newsstand!
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The MBIP World Headquarters Magazine Reading Room
I decided to get a magazine with the title of, “closer.” One of my favorite movies is, Glengarry Glen Ross and it’s too bad that magazines don’t drink coffee. If you don’t understand, I’ll let Alec Baldwin explain it to you, just click on this link.
Meryl Streep is on the cover of the magazine and she says she’s never been happier. I guess when you’ve made as much money as Meryl has, the old vodka bottle just never goes empty! Cheers, Meryl and happy days and drinks to you and your unbridled happiness!
There’s also a story about the secret that Merle Oberon took to her grave! That’s quite intriguing but I just have one little nagging question here: Who in the fuck is Merle Oberon?
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The Price Of The Magazine
The price of the magazine is $6.99. So far this has been the cheapest magazine of this series. And people are still bitching about the price of eggs? Oh well, I guess Easter is this Sunday…never mind, let’s just keep moving along here!
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The Marlo Quote and Bob Hope: Dead Man Joking!
Marlo Thomas is quoted on the table of contents page and it says: “People really want to do something good. You just have to show them where it is.” Some day I hope to meet Marlo, so she can show me where good is located.
There’s also a quote from currently dead comedian, Bob Hope, saying that he learned to dance while waiting to go to the bathroom. I had always heard that old Bob was a shitty, piss-poor dancer and by gum here’s the proof!
The Merle Oberon story is on page 38…which forces this question: Who in the silly sake of fuck is Merle Oberon?
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Cover Story: Meryl Streep
The cover story is on Meryl Streep who is 75-years-old and is absolutely giddy these days!
She says that one of the reasons she’s so gosh-darn happy is that she has nothing to prove to anyone anymore.
Well, that’s kind of obvious, Meryl, you’re posing for the cover of a sixth-rate magazine whose target audience is about two years older than you are!
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Avoiding ER
This is an article entitled, “5 Ways To Avoid The ER.”
That show hasn’t been on the air for about 16 years and I threw away my TV set in 2012, so I decided to skip this page and just keep moving along here.
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Greg Brady And Eddie Munster
Greg Brady and Eddie Munster both appeared at this year’s Chocolate Expo in New Jersey.
This proves the theory that not all former child stars die young, they just kind of wish they did. I hope they had fun being second-billed to a box of chocolates.
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Happy Day
Here’s a photo of Annette O’Toole and Michael McKean celebrating their 25th wedding anniversary. She’s quoted as saying, “Happy day then and now.”
Uh, either that’s a typo or Annette is a butcher of the English language. Can anybody out there verify this gross mistake?
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Happy Days
Ding, ding, ding…Happy Days are here again! And the forecast for these Happy Days are grey and old. Say hi to Ralph Malph for us guys!
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For The Second To the Last Time…
Who in the flaming fuck is Merle Oberon?
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This Will Be The Last Time
You know you have an older audience when the back cover ad is for sneakers who’s main selling point is that you don’t have to bend over to put them on.
There’s Howie Mandel and I’m not sure who the woman is. She kind of looks like a young Merle Oberon.
And that can only lead to this closing and final thought about closer magazine—everybody all at once: Who in the flaming casserole of fuck is Merle Oberon?
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Related Posts: MBIP Magazine Of The Week: POP Magazine, How Dogs Think and Us Weekly.