One quick technical note here: I thought I’d be going back to Popeyes this week because last summer, they brought out a blackened chicken sandwich and it comes in classic and spicy, so my plan was to try those two chicken sandwiches. I did notice it was only available in limited areas, so I called and they don’t have them here. Which is weird because Peoria is a test market town.
So, we’re going to do something a little different this week on this Fast Food Finger-Lickin’ Chicken Sandwich Tour, we’re going to go to Taco Bell.
This idea started on Twitter with a Tweet from my friend Aaron, it’s posted below.
I clicked on it and it brought up a video of people debating over a new product at Taco Bell: The Crispy Chicken Sandwich Taco.
People are trying to figure out if this thing is a chicken sandwich or a taco and now I’m curious about it, so let’s head on over to Taco Hell…I mean Bell!
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The Taco Bell Drive-Through
The taco/sandwich comes in two varieties, crispy chicken and spicy crispy chicken, so I ordered both of them.
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Back At The MBIP World Headquarters Dining Area
Here we are back at MBIP World Headquarters Dining Area.
I find it strange that they seal the bag. I mean it just goes from the drive-through window to my car, what’s it need to be officially sealed for? It’s kind of overkill, but let’s just keep moving on along here.
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The Tacos…The Chicken Sandwiches…Or Whatever They are!
Okay, I got the two chicken sandwich taco thingys and I also got an actual taco so we can do a comparison between a taco, a chicken sandwich and whatever the fuck this Crispy Chicken Sandwich Taco is.
Okay, here we go.
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A Taco
This is Taco Bell’s traditional classic taco. It’s a crispy tortilla shell filled with cheese, lettuce and seasoned ground beef.
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A Chicken Sandwich
Here’s last week’s chicken sandwich. It’s a breaded piece of chicken housed within a bun.
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The Crispy Chicken Sandwich Taco
Okay, I don’t know what in the actual fuck this is supposed to be. It’s two breaded chicken tenders on top of a flatbread. It looks like someone took a bite out of the first chicken tender, what the fuck is that all about?
It looks more like some weird pizza mutation than a sandwich or a taco. Here’s how Taco Bell describes it on their website:
“We took crispy, white-meat chicken. Marinated it in jalapeño buttermilk. Seasoned it with bold Mexican spices. Rolled it in a crunchy, tortilla-chip coating. Topped it with creamy chipotle sauce. And put it inside a puffy flatbread shell because we could. Thus, the Crispy Chicken Sandwich Taco was born. Hatched? You get the idea.”
No, I don’t get the idea…is a puffy flatbread like a puffy shirt? Who are the ad wizards who came up with this whole stupid idea? And I hate it when people use the word, “Thus.” It rhymes with “Pus” and it’s just disgusting.
Let’s just try them out and we’ll determine what the fuck this thing is at the end of the post and settle this clucked up debate once and for all!
Someone’s got to figure this shit out, and I guess it’s got to be me. Let’s get to work!
Once again, here’s the Crispy Chicken Sandwich Taco. It really bugs me that that first chicken tender looks like someone took a bite out of it!
Fuck it, we have to move along here.
There’s chicken diarrhea sauce underneath the tenders, including the one that looks like some asshole took a bite out of!
Here it is folded up and it’s not the greatest thing I’ve ever had, but it’s not horrible either.
It’s kind of bland, despite all their lofty claims of marination and seasoning in their description of this thing.
Here’s the Spicy Crunchy Chicken Sandwich Taco and the only difference between this one and the Crunchy Chicken Sandwich Taco is that the put jalapeno’s on it. That’s kind of pathetic!
Underneath is more of the chicken diarrhea sauce and more jalapeno’s. It’s the same fucking sandwich as before, but they just threw on some fucking peppers and declared this the Spicy Chicken Sandwich Taco.
At least no one took a bite out of the chicken on this one.
The jalapeno’s give this a little heat, but it’s a stretch to call this thing, whatever it is, “spicy.”
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So What In The Actual Fuck Is This Thing?
It’s not a sandwich and it’s not a taco…you know what this thing is closest to?
A Crispy Chicken Sandwich Burrito!
Okay, case closed and I still curse the asshole that took a bite out of the first sandwich! But at least we’re done with all of this.
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THE WEEKLY CHICKEN SANDWICH RATING CHART
Since we concluded that the Crispy Chicken Sandwich Taco is actually a burrito, I’m not going to add it to the chicken sandwich rating list. We’ll return with an actual chicken sandwich next week.
Stay tuned, stay high and let your freak flag fly!
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WEEKLY RANDOM CHICKEN GIF
This week’s random chicken gif. Just for the sheer cluck of it.
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Related Posts: The Fast Food Finger-Lickin’ Chicken Sandwich Tour @: Popeyes, KFC and McDonald’s.