Live, from Peoria, Illinois, it’s Saturday Night Take-Out starring this week’s host, Walgreens…yes, Walgreens!
Now please welcome this week’s host, Walgreens!
Yeah, I know…what the fuck is going on here? Saturday night take-out dinner from Walgreens?
Here’s the deal: I had heard that we were going to get an ice/snow storm starting in the morning on Friday and it was supposed to go on all day and they said if you didn’t have to travel, don’t. So on Thursday I stocked up on beer and vodka…I mean I stocked up on supplies so I wouldn’t have to leave the MBIP World Headquarters on Friday.
I didn’t have to work, so I didn’t even go or look outside.
I finally ventured out into this winter wonderland, Saturday at about three in the afternoon. The MBIP Mobile was covered in snow. So I got my trusty scraper/brush and soon discovered that underneath the snow was about an eighth of an inch coating of ice over my entire car. Before I go any further let me just throw this out there: I fucking HATE winter!
So over an hour later, I had finally scraped all that fucking ice off of my car. I was going to Walgreens for a beer run (what did you think I did all day and night in my apartment on Friday) and while I was in the store, I had a brainstorm.
Instead of making another trip for my Saturday night dinner, I’d get something at Walgreens and then I wouldn’t have to go out in this icy fucked-up winter mess again.
So that’s what I did. And that’s why we’re here at Walgreens. Okay?
Now get off my fucking back and let’s have dinner already. I’m sick of explaining myself and I’m starvin’ like you know who over here!
I was thinking about doing a Saturday Night Frozen Pizza post, but they didn’t have much of a selection of pizza pies.
Then I happened to see those White Castle Cheese Sliders and thought those might be pretty tasty. I had frozen White Castles years ago and if I remember correctly, they were really good.
I wanted something to have with the sliders and saw this hot and spicy noodle soup and thought it would compliment the burgers perfectly. And while in the checkout line I saw a bag of Kitchen Cooked Potato Chips!
Perfect, this might be a classic dinner and all I have to do is microwave it, which will just take a couple of minutes.
By the you have two minutes of laughter with Mozi, dinner will be ready!
Okay, the food is all nuked and I thought I’d add some Sandwich Pal Jalapeno Mustard to the burgers for a little extra-added zip-a-dee-doo-dah.
And I had some shredded Mexican Cheese left over from last week’s grilled cheese post, so I added some of that to the burgers as well.
Okay, here’s a bird’s-eye-view of our Saturday night dinner from Walgreen’s. All microwaved up and ready to eat. Let’s dig in!
I was so hungry by the time I got to the soup I took a big spoonful of the noodles and promptly burned the living fuck out of my mouth!
This is crazy, I microwaved it first and let it cool for over five minutes and it was still hotter than the 2020 burning dumpster fuck-all of a year!
I immediately spit the noodles back out and it was like I had tongue-fucked Satan’s asshole.
I cooled my burning and stinging mouth down with liberal doses of Bud Light!
This wasn’t a good start to dinner.
My mouth was still stinging, but I decided to move forward to the burgers and try and make the best out of a bad situation.
Here’s the plate of a half a dozen White Castle Sliders, let’s dig in!
Okay, this is just fucking nuts, I bit into the burger and it was still half frozen! I followed the cooking instructions and you had to wrap them up in paper towels and it was a real pain in the ass and after all of that bullshit they’re still cold?
After the soup was hotter than than the thirteenth rung of hell?
Fuck!
I put them back in the microwave…
And had some of the Kitchen Cooked Potato Chips.
At least they did not disappoint and they reminded me of this day, which went very well as opposed to this god-awful evening!
Even after microwaving these fucking things again, they were just lukewarm and kind of tasted like shit on a half warm shingle.
Well, we learned a lesson today, Walgreens is a lovely place to buy booze and get your prescriptions filled, but never, ever get a Saturday night dinner from there!
Let’s have some dessert.
Cheers and we’ll see you all tomorrow!
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