It’s January of 2020 and that can mean only one thing: Time to count the gumball machines at the Northwoods Mall!
The Return of Chad Wallace!
Last year Chad Wallace couldn’t make the trip from his town of Springfield due to a sudden snowstorm, but this year he’s back and ready for gumball action!
We started off with a fun and fast-paced game of Dueling Cameras in the hallway and then we moved inside MBIP World Headquarters to get all the tools for this year’s gumball count. We have the official Bag-O-Quarters, The MBIP Tally Sheet and The MBIP Gum Ball Bag!
In the car, Chad put on his impressive cap that’s inspired by MBIP Pal and Wheelman, Scott Turley!
Here we are at the Northwoods Mall and Chad leads the way in. As usual I had to pry him away from the underwear mannequins in the shop window!
The First Floor Count
And the count begins as Chad starts pumping quarters into the machines.
There’s more than just gum in these machines, there’s Stress Balls…ouch, I hate it when that happens!
The Galaxy Balls were interesting because I had no idea that Uranus had balls…in fact you may want to see a Proctologist about that condition!
And of course no gumball counting expedition would be complete without this yearly joke: “Bananarama? Hmmm…I wondered what happened to them!”
Check out the yield from this Mike and Ike machine, two fucking pieces for fifty cents? What a gyp!
Oh geez, here we go again!
Here we are at the second gumball bank with the ever-appealing Dragon Snot being sold.
Shortly after we arrived here we had a brief encounter with…
A Mall Cop!
I saw a Mall Cop staring at us from a distance and he approached us with the caution someone usually reserves for walking up to dangerous escaped mental patients. He had a scowl on his face and he asked us what we were doing.
I told him we were counting gumball machines for my blog and his face was a combination of disgust and contempt but he said nothing.
“Don’t worry,” I told him in reassuring tones, “this is perfectly normal and no one’s going to get hurt.”
He just stared at us a little longer, shook his head sadly back and forth and walked away from us. I was tempted to take his picture, but I’ve done that before and I didn’t want to get us thrown out of the mall when we’ve just started so above is a photo reenactment of what happened.
We now return to our program, already in progress.
Here we are at the back bank of gumball machines on the first floor and this Mike and Ike machine gave out a better yield so I take back almost every bad thing I said about those two candy-asses.
Alright, the tally for the first floor is complete and we’re up to 44 gumball machines. Now it’s time for a much needed…
Beer Break @ Round 1!
For the first few years there was nowhere to get a beer in the Northwoods Mall. Then they opened up Round 1 and we discovered a bar in there! As you can see, they have a nice selection of beers.
There’s two of us taking a break, I’m enjoying a Budweiser and Chad is drinking some sort of Ty-D-Bowl drink. Cheers!
The Second Floor
Alright, upwards and onwards to the first bank on the second floor of the mall.
Here we found a new machine, “Poopie Emoji Jewelry.” File that machine under: Shit Happens!
Here we are at the second and final gumball bank on the second floor.
This row of machines always impresses me and check out the Farm Animal Blow-Ups! No doubt inspired by SCTV!
As with every year, I just want to mention that these gumballs are all housed in the fine Northern Beaver machines.
There’s the Cry Baby Guts! machine that makes me think this thought every year: Who are the ad wizards who came up with this one?
And now…your gumball moment of Zen!
Which leads us to the moment we’ve all been waiting for…
The 2020 Gumball Machine Count!
Thanks for the drumroll, Ringo and now it’s time for the 2020 count of the gumball machines in the Northwoods Mall!
This year the count is at 104, that’s down two from last year, but it’s still an impressive count!
My sincere thanks to Chad Wallace for accompanying me and doing all the work! It was a blast, as always!
Goodnight Chad and sweet dreams!
Related Posts: Seventh Annual Counting, The Sixth Annual Counting of the Gumball Machines, The Fifth Annual Counting Of The Gumballs @ Northwoods Mall, The Fourth Annual Counting Of The Gumball Machines At The Northwoods Mall, The Third Annual Counting Of The Gumball Machines at Northwoods Mall! and 68 Gumball Machines At Northwoods Mall.