Live from Peoria, Illinois it’s Saturday Night Cheeseburger, starring your host, Marty Wombacher and featuring the public toilet at Schnucks Grocery Store. And now, all the way from his apartment on Willow Knolls Drive, please welcome this week’s host, Marty Wombacher!
Alright, here we are at the Fifth Quarter Sports Bar in East Peoria. I called earlier and the kitchen here is open till around midnight, which is perfect. It's just 10:20PM now, so we have plenty of time.
What scares me here though is the parking lot. It's completely full and I had to park next door in the veterinary parking lot. I hate it when bars are packed and this doesn't look good.
The outside of the bar is just kind of average looking and has a little bit of a roadhouse type feel to it.
Let's go in and see if there's a seat to be had at the bar.
Holy shitballs, it's jam-packed in here. And the noise level is crazy loud. This must have been an airplane hangar at one time and the acoustics are such that it makes everything loud and people are screaming over each other. I'm going to make like Eric Burden and get out of this place.
Time to improvise and hit the road.
Now this is a parking lot that's more my speed, nice and empty.
I haven't cooked anything at home in a while, so that's the new plan for tonight.
Let's go in and get the supplies for a home-cooked Saturday Night Cheeseburger.
But, as long as we're here and they have a public bathroom, we might as well also do a mini-PTA—Public Toilet Alert.
To the Men's Room we go...I need to get a female to do a PTA of a ladies bathroom, any volunteers out there?
Right off the bat they get points for a solo urinal guaranteeing your utmost privacy while you do what you need to do.
Everything's nice and clean in here, but there's one thing that disturbs me and it's...
This "Safe Sitter Child Seat" on the wall opposite the toilet. I really have a thing about privacy when I'm going to the bathroom and I don't like it when there's two stalls and there's someone next to me. This thing just seems kind of fucked up on a lot of levels. I mean, I've never had children, but if I did, I wouldn't want to go to the bathroom in front of them. And imagine being a little kid, strapped in to this hanging seat on a bathroom wall having to watch your father take a dump...I'm sorry, but this is too disturbing for me to think about, let's go back in the store before I lose my appetite!
Ah, Poultry On Ice, I saw this at Radio City Music Hall once.
What is it? It's an apricot that after just one bite, you turn into this guy. Okay, enough messing around, let's get our stuff and get home, I'm starvin' like Marvin over here.
And through the magic of the internet, here we are at MBIP headquarters.
Here's the supplies I got for our cheeseburger dinner. From left: King's Hawaiian sweet rolls, Chicken in a Biskit, ground sirloin, Merkts Beer Cheese, a small jar of spicy mustard and a box of fully cooked bacon.
And of course the most important ingredient of the evening: beer!
I thought we'd marinate the ground sirloin, so I grabbed this Pasta House salad dressing out of the refrigerator.
In a bowl I'm combining half the jar of spicy mustard with the salad dressing and a shitload of pepper.
And to that, we add the ground sirloin and mix it all together.
I'm going to let it sit in the refrigerator for about a half an hour.
While the sirloin is marinating, we'll have a little snack and a beer or three. I've topped off some Chicken in a Bisikit crackers with the Merkt Beer Cheese and some of the bacon.
Delicious!
Okay, it's been a half an hour, so let's get this show on the road! We'll start cooking the marinated ground sirloin. ..
And we'll toast the rolls under the broiler.
I've decided instead of patties, I'll keep the burger meat loose. It'll be a nice change of pace.
Okay, time to start plating this cheeseburger meal up. Here's the toasted/almost burnt Hawaiian sweet rolls.
And on top of them we'll apply a liberal dollop of both the spicy mustard and the Merkt's Beer Cheese. It's starting to look pretty good, huh?
And here it is, tonight's loose and crumbly cheeseburger meal.
Let's try it out!
Wow, these turned out great! There's a lot of strong flavor coming through, from the marinated ground sirloin to the tangy beer cheese and the spicy mustard and bacon, it's a real buffet of tastes happening here at Chez Wombacher! I'm glad we cooked at home tonight, this was fun and tasty too!
I forgot to take an obligatory bathroom shot at Schnucks, so here's one from my apartment. See you all tomorrow.
Cheeseburger Rating
Three Wimpy's, I cooked up a pretty mean loose cheeseburger, if I do say so myself and I just did, so there!
Related Posts: SNC @ Kenny’s Westside Pub, The Publik House and Carl’s Bakery.
