Okay, last week we finished the roast beef section of Arby’s menu and those sandwiches were pretty brutal. Eating them was bad enough, but they were the gift that kept on giving (see the Diarrhea Diary at the bottom of this post.)
This week we’re moving into the Signature section of Arby’s menu. I’m kind of excited about this because the first two sandwiches actually look pretty tasty.
Let’s get in the MBIP Mobile and go pick them up and we’ll find out how these first two Signature sandwiches rate.
Here’s the Signature menu and the two sandwiches we’ll be sampling today are the Smokehouse Brisket and the Loaded Italian.
They actually look really good, so maybe we’ll catch a break this week!
Holy shitballs, look at the fucking line for the drive-through!
I took a photo of the time to see how long it would take to get through this and as you can see it took thirteen minutes!
And let me tell you, thirteen minutes sitting in a drive-through lane is like two eternities in hell.
These fucking sandwiches had better be worth the wait I just had!
We’re finally back in the comfort of the MBIP Kitchen and Tasting area. It’s Arby’s time!
Last week I noted that these sandwiches are pretty pricey for fast food and this week is no exception to that rule, once again it’s over 14 bucks for two sandwiches!
I don’t mind paying more if the sandwiches are tasty. Let’s hope this week they live up to this steep price.
A new sauce is introduced this week: Arby’s Tangy BBQ Sauce. I’m going to put that on the Brisket and I’ll put the Arby’s Sauce on the Loaded Italian.
I love it when a plan like this works itself out!
Once again I’m impressed by the boxy packaging of the sandwiches.
Oh my! Check out the mayonnaise on the Smokehouse Brisket! It looks like Harvey Weinstein mistook it for a potted plant and jerked off all over it. Ugh!
I wiped as much of that foul shit off of the sandwich as I could and put the BBQ sauce on it. Then I put the Arby’s sauce on the Loaded Italian.
Let me add that both sandwiches look a little disappointing compared to their online photos. You can do your own comparison by clicking here: Smokehouse Brisket and Loaded Italian.
I’m starting to have a sense of dread about biting into these things. Let’s go and get this shit over with!
First Bites
Smokehouse Brisket: Wow, this is really fucking horrible! The first thing you taste is the Arby’s BBQ Sauce which has am acidic gasoline flavor to it. The brisket is kind of tasteless, but it’s slimy and greasy. It has the consistency of what I imagine slug meat is like after you cook it in a vat of rancid grease. Plus the thought of Harvey Weinstein jerking off all over this wretched sandwich is just about enough to make me hurl the whole thing back up.
Loaded Italian: This wasn’t as bad as that horrid Brisket sandwich, but it wasn’t much better either. This thing has like ten different kinds of meat and all of them have the same slimy consistency that the brisket had. The sandwich is salty and there’s a weird tart kind of flavor to the sandwich. This is not a good start to the Signature menu. If this foul year of 2020 were to be identified as a buffet, these two sandwiches would definitely be included!
The Verdict
Thumbs down on both of these sandwiches! The good news is that I never have to eat either one of those again and hopefully we’ve hit bottom and things can only get better. But I’ve probably cursed myself by writing that.
THE ARBY’S DIARRHEA DIARY
The myth that Arby’s induces diarrhea is turning out not to be so much of a myth. Just like the first week, last week about three hours after ingestion, I was running to the toilet and it wasn’t pretty. Arby’s is just as foul on the way out as it is on the way in.
The weekly Arby’s diarrhea link: Arby’s Wrecked Me For Days.
Related Posts: French Dip & Swiss & Fire Roasted Philly and Roast Beef And Beef ’N Cheddar.