Almost five years ago I went to McDonald’s to check out the return of the McRib and about made myself sick eating that horrible sandwich.

I’ve never understood the fascination and the cult of the McRib. As you can see from that post, it’s a truly despicable sandwich, yet there’s a website devoted to it and there’s also a facecrack page that has over 35,000 “likes.”

Well, I’ve decided to pit the McRib against a local rib sandwich and have a rib sandwich grudge match here at MBIP!

It’s a chain versus local rib sandwich duel!

First stop is the McDonald’s on University in Pioneer Park. The place has recently been remodeled into a McDonald’s “Play Place.”

Great, this place has two of the things I despise most in this modern world: McDonald’s food and screaming children.

As you can see from the poster, it’s McRib Season. Just one of the many things I hate about winter.

I went in and ordered and now on to the second stop for this rib-tickling grudge match duel!

Now to get the local rib sandwich from Grandpa John’s Rib Shack.

Oh my, look at the font on the front door, not exactly Comic Sans, but close enough to send a chill down my spine!

I went in and ordered and now let’s go back to MBIP World Headquarters and let the rib sandwich battle begin!

Alright, there’s the two bags, let’s unpack them and sample the meals.

I got an order of fries at both places. The McDonald’s fries are always pretty good, just a little too salty, but not too bad.

I’m a little frightened to open this box, but maybe through some magical miracle, the McRib will have improved since the last time I sampled this saucy sandwich five years ago.

Here we go…

Aaaaahhhh! Nothing’s changed, it’s still a sloppy, horrific mess.

It looks like a Jackson Pollock abstract version of a sandwich.

Well, let’s take a bite and get this over with.

Oh my fucking god! It’s even worse than I remember.

The meat is grey and spongey and tastes like the failing liver from a rabid dachshund that’s been marinated in goat throw-up for nine days!

The sauce has a sickeningly sweet flavor that’s reminiscent of low-rent cough syrup that’s gone bad several decades ago.

This sandwich is what a fatal disease would taste like if you could capture it and serve it inside of a bun. Oof!

Okay, I’ve had a beer to wash away the horrific and frightening aftertaste from the sickening McRib sandwich and now let’s move on to the rib sandwich from Grandpa John’s Rib Shack. This meal comes housed in a styrofoam container.

Let’s sample the fries first.

I dipped them into the legendary John’s barbecue sauce and these are so tasty!

Fresh cut and made on the premises, this definitely helps wash away the taste and memory of that frightening and terrible McRib experience!

Now it’s on to the Grandpa John’s rib sandwich.

Now that’s what a rib sandwich should look like! Thick slabs of savory barbecued pork rib meat housed in between bakery fresh bread. It looks and smells fantastic!

I added a layer of that delicious sauce and now it’s time to take a bite out of this fabulous looking rib sandwich!

Man, sometimes you just can’t win! This sandwich tastes sensational, but as I bit into it I made a tooth-crushing discovery—they’ve left the bone in the ribs!

How the fuck are you supposed to eat a sandwich with bones in it?

What, are they getting a kickback from the Peoria Dental Association with this shit? Well, time to take matters in to my own hands and fix this thing myself! Sheesh!