I thought I’d add a new component to the Fast Food Friday series and that would be to switch it up every other week with a frozen dinner from the grocery store. I don’t eat frozen food very often, if fact one of the few times I’ve eaten frozen food in the last few years was for Amber’s birthday party back in September of 2014. I kind of went nuts that night in the frozen food section but one thing I didn’t get that evening was a TV Dinner. I’m wondering if they even make them anymore and there’s only one way to find out...to Schnuck's frozen food aisle!
The Memory
This is how I remember TV dinners from my youth, I bet this is a Swanson TV dinner circa 1972.
This Week’s Frozen Food Dinner
I went to Schnuck’s grocery store and the closest thing to a TV dinner I could find in that chilly frozen food aisle is this Hungry-Man Selects Classic Fried Chicken Dinner. They have a website and the “Eat Like A Man” phrase cracks me up! I think the next dinner they create should be the “Harvey Weinstein Rape In A Box Dinner.” But that’s just me.
The Frozen Dinner
Here’s the frozen dinner before I put it in the oven. According to the directions I removed the film from the chicken and brownie portions. Then I placed it in the oven which has been pre-heated to a 350 degree temperature. This is the first thing I’ve ever baked in the MBIP World Headquarters Oven! A monumental moment in time!
Out Of The Oven
Forty five minutes later, it’s out of the oven and you’re supposed to let it sit for two minutes before digging in. The potatoes look very disturbing to me!
The Side Dishes
Here’s a close-up of the side dishes. As noted previously, the potatoes are quite disturbing with that weird film that’s grown around them and the corn looks like the teeth of someone who has chain-smoked unfiltered Camel cigarettes for three cancerous lifetimes. The potatoes had no taste but the consistency of them in my mouth felt like a combination of a Donald Trump youth rally and Albino diarrhea. The corn tasted like warm candle wax that had been marinated in lung cancer overnight. Not a very pleasant start to this frozen dinner at all!
The Main Course: The “Classic” Fried Chicken
The chicken produced a small river of grease and side particles. Time to dig in. Very reluctantly I might add!
The First Bite And Taste
The outside breading was like biting through tree bark and the chicken was dry and tasted like an over-cooked chunk of Bugs Bunny’s thyroid gland. Underneath the chicken was a disturbing layer of chicken fat that resembled vanilla pudding infiltrated by an army of greasy yellow maggots.
The Dessert
The dessert was a chocolate brownie that didn’t have much taste and it felt like I was eating cotton that had been buried in dirt for seven weeks.
The Frozen Food Rating (Four Is Best, One Is The Worst)
A half Mr. Freeze. I won’t say this dinner was inedible because I ate part of it. But I’ll never eat it again. I'm hopeful for the “Hungry-Man Selects Harvey Weinstein Rape In A Box” dinner though!
Related Post: Saturday Night Microwave Buffet @ Amber’s Birthday Party!